Miracle Whip With Foie Gras & Manwich on the Side — QUIZ FLASHBACK

Back to my old friend, Blogthings. How’d they know that I have a thing for Miracle Whip with a little bit of foie gras and Manwich on the side?


You Are Miracle Whip, Elixir of the Gods

You tend to be a very quiet, introverted person. The one who flinches and shields her face when spoken to.
You’re happy to sit back and let stronger personalities shine. Nana says you been that way since you lost your voice during the second grade talent show.
Your taste in food leans toward simple comfort foods like Oreos, Cheetos, and Ding Dongs. The more trans fat, the better.
You love holiday meals as well as old school favorites like fried Spam sandwiches, foie gras, and any casserole that uses cream of mushroom soup.
You value loyalty, harmony, and try to bring people together. Teamwork makes it easier when you’re trying to force feed the ducks.
Even though they beat you to the squeeze bottle, you are still friendly with mustard and ketchup. You have an unlikely alliance with salsa and Manwich.

Published in: on July 16, 2008 at 2:05 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Miracle Whip is what happens to mayonnaise when it goes from the condiment shelf at Albertson’s to the front porch beer fridge in the Sunnyside trailer park. There it sits, waiting for some bologna to defile or, better yet, some long-forgotten Olive Loaf. You know the stuff I mean. You bought it, forgetting you didn’t like it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to throw it out because that’s wasteful. So there it sits, not exactly rotting because it’s 1% olives, 5% loaf, and 94% toxic. The edges of each slice have darkened in color and are curling a bit, but a big old dollop of Miracle Whip and that Olive Loaf is going to rise on the Wonder Bread like Lazarus.

  2. Yep, I know the stuff. Ma-maw used to serve it at her bridge parties!

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