Jonas Brothers — Hey Hey, We’re the Doppelgangers

Nick, Joe, Kevin, and the Bonus

Nick, Joe, Kevin, and the Bonus

I was really looking forward to the Cowboy game today. Tony Romo’s pinkie seemed to be well, Pacman Jones was on the sidelines waiting to be reinstated after brawling with his own bodyguard, and we were playing the Seahawks, a 2 and 9 team. I was out of the kitchen by the 3:15 kick-off. I imagine that that is like being let out into “the yard” while you’re in the pen. The first half went well, with the Cowboys kicking some Seahawk ass.

I got some cherry pie and sat back to watch the half-time show. I was expecting a real show, like 2005 in Detroit when Mariah Carey re-enacted scenes from Glitter. But no, the entire Pacific Northwest had the last laugh after we hosted the world’s crappiest half-time show in 43 years — it was the Jonas Brothers, with a surprise visit from their bodyguard, Big Rob, who came out on stage in a Cowboy jersey. (It was obvious that Pacman would need a new bodyguard but who knew Jerry would tamper with players and security people.) Troy Aikman must have seen the rehearsals ’cause he kept his little girls up in the booth, well away from the flaming stage. Since these boys had some awfully big hair and couldn’t bust a move to save their lives, I was a little worried. The odds to witness tremendous carnage were with the house — these boys couldn’t sing or dance at all.

And then it hit me. They were a poor man’s Monkees. An extremely poor man’s Monkees. A destitute man’s Monkees, because the Monkees at least had charisma and their songs had a little bit of that hippie, good karma charm. And maybe I’m just old and listen to too much metal music but the Jonas Brothers don’t got it.

Still, there are parallels. The Brothers can’t sing, the Monkees supposedly didn’t play their own instruments. So you have Nick Jonas as Mickey Dolenz, Joe Jonas as Davy Jones, and Kevin ‘Sideburns’ Jonas as Michael Naismith. Poor Peter Tork, the quiet Monkee, has been replaced by the Bonus Jonas, Frank, who’s not even in the group yet.

Upon further review, it appears that I did not learn a lesson from the good karma Monkees lyrics:

Hey hey we’re the Monkees, people say we monkey around, but we’re too busy singing, to put anybody down.

Mickey, Michael, Davy, Peter

Mickey, Michael, Davy, Peter

Published in: on November 27, 2008 at 10:14 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Szeretem a Jonas Brothenzt

  2. önnek kell lenni nagyon fiatal. translation: You must be very young. (Well, that’s what I meant it to say anyway. Let’s just hope I didn’t say something stupid like, “Y’all eat your young.”)

  3. hay jonas brother I want say they are strat’s yes start’s for mééé I like it ok byyyyy

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