Bubble Gait

Bubble's Binding Bitch

Bubble's Binding Bitch

Well, it’s another gift giving time of year and true to form, I got a wide array of presents from my family. I was shocked to see that I had been given an exact replica of Bubble’s Binding Bitch, the contraption that Bubbles the Clown had endured as a youngster on the fringes of the bigtop circuit. The process of foot spreading is very akin to that of Chinese food binding, except here the toes are not broken and bound — the arch is broken and the foot is crammed into the flattest, longest, skinniest shoe one can find. Just as the Chinese women had the so-called lotus gait, the modern day American clown has what has been nicknamed bubble gait.

The device is cleverly camouflaged in designer footwear so that the budding young clown can create the foot deformity before his unsuspecting parents realize what’s happening. Depressed, journeymen clowns also wear Bubble’s Binding Bitches when they need to get out in public in their civilian clothes and just don’t feel like being funny.

The Real Deal

The Real Deal

Published in: on December 29, 2008 at 8:34 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. you are one eerily funny wit tanner!!!

  2. Not so funny when I’m already up to a size 11, Hels. Unless I start special ordering, it’s time for the “real deal” shoes. Wonder how those go over at the airport?

  3. I’ll second hels’s comment.

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