Quiz Flashback — What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are the Fiji Mermaid

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Let’s face it — you’ve seen better days. You’re a far cry from Ariel, the white-washed, romanticized pussy that people expect you to be.

You look like you might have been a “taxidermal hoax” and the decrepit state you’re in gives new meaning to the word flaky.

You gave up trying to impress the ladies, especially after the onslaught of female pattern baldness. You never had a chance anyway, seeing as you were probably a cross between a spider monkey and a piranha that was carefully pieced together in some back alley circus tent.

The happiest day of your life was when you washed up on the shores of Lake Texoma with some of your teeth still intact. That carnie tried to pull them all because he thought no one could properly analyze a skull without any teeth. That dumbass didn’t know shit about DNA.

The second happiest day of your life was when Jesus finally found you a mate — a mermaid of color, with a full head of hair, and a libido to match.

mermaid2

Nympho Mermaid

Published in: on November 7, 2008 at 5:41 pm  Leave a Comment  
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